Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.
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Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
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At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
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Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '
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NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
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Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.
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SARDAR:- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, "I AM GOING"?
FRIEND:- Main jaa raha hun.
SARDAR:- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur bhi aise ja chuke hain....answer bata ke jaa..
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Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver
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Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: "Take my card."
Waiter: "But sir, this is Ration Card."
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SardarJi: Ghar mai Mera he Hukam chalta hai.
Mai Kehta hon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai,
Dost: Garam pani Q?
Sardar: Garam pani se Bartan Achay Dhultay hain.
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A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then a Little Sardarji spoke up: "We are all human beans."
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Sardar k 12 bachon mein 1 alag dikhta tha:
Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Sardar ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai?
Sardarni: Sartaj, sirf yehi aapka hai.
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Two Sardar stopped suddenly.
1st Sardar: OMG! My wife and my girlfriend coming together.
2nd Sardar: Mine too.
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A sardar goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?
Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was?
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How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from
the book when the teacher erases the board.
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Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it’s your lucky day,
I found the rubberband!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.
Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.
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A small 2 seater plane was crashed in graveyard.
A Sardar was investigation officer.
In report he said:
500 dead bodies are found
and digging for rest.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar at an Art Gallery:
I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
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Interviewer: Where were you born?
Sardar: Punjab.
Interviewer: Which part?
Sardar: What which part, whole body was born in Punjab. “;-)
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Sardar’s wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar and Pathan going somewhere together.
They found 1000 Rs. on the way.
Pathan: Let’s take 50/50.
Sardar: What will do of remaining 900?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
“Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar and his wife filed an application for divorce.
Judge asked: How will you divide?
You have 3 children.
Sardar replied: OK! We will apply next year.
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NURSE kept SARDAR’S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST
Waiter gives bill to Sardar
Sardar: Take my card.
Waiter: But sir, this is Ration Card.
Sardar: So what?
You have written outside
“ALL CARDS ACCEPTED”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
it’s already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Judge: Why are you arrested?
Sardar: For shopping early?
Judge: Well, thats not a crime, anyway how early you were shopping?
Sardar: before opening the shop…,
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, “DELIVERED”.
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Interviewer: Congrats, you are selected.
Your 1st month salary is Rs: 6000.
Next month salary will be 10000.
Sardar: Ok sir, I’ll Join next month.
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Sardar proposed a girl……
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u…….
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I’ll marry u next year.
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Sardar on phone: Doctor my wife is pregnant.
She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking.
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don’t worry, I have a one more.
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How do you sink a submarine
filled with sardars..?
.
.
.
.
Just knock the door.
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Astrologer: you must married only 32 years old women to start a happy life.
sardar: shall I married two 16 years old girls
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On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him,
“Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?”
Sardar : “Ya sure, from landline or mobile”.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As train start running,
a sardar got the train.
TT: Don’t you see it’s female bogie?
Sardar: Sorry, I thought you were a man.
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Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: Will you marry me?
Girl: Sorry I am a lesbian.
Sardar: What’s a lesbian?
Girl: I like to sleep with girls.
Sardar: Give me a hand… I am also lesbian
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler
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Sardar had twins. He named Tara & Sitara.
Again twins, He named Peter & Repeater.
Again twins, He named Max & Climax.
Again twins, finally He named STOP & FULLSTOp:-)
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Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked “what you did till evening?”
Sardar :”Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright”
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Teacher: “I killed a person”
convert this sentence into future tense
Sardar: The future tense is “You will go to jail”
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Sardar comes back to his car
&
find a note saying ‘Parking Fine’
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole
‘Thanks for compliment.’
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar complained to the police: ‘Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.’
Police: ‘How the thief did not take TV?’
Ah Beng : ‘I was watching TV news…’
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar: I am Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Sardar: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone
from his Phone Book & said,
My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar was giving his medical entrance exam
He gave definitions as follows:
Antibody:
Against everybody
Artery:
Study of fine art paintings
Cardiology:
Advanced study of playing cards
CT scan:
Scanning 4 lost whistle..
Coma:
Punctuation mark
Bacteria:
Back door to a cafeteria…
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Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
“Me sick, no work”
Boss SMS back:
“When I am sick I kiss my wife try it”
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
“Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
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A sardar goes to an electronics shop to buy a TV.
Do you have color TVs?
Sure.
Give me a green one, please.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy
Sardar: ALL the child were crying when they born
I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What is tha difference between orange & apple?
Sardar: The color of orange is orange but the color of apple is not apple.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A bird was disturbing to a Sardar.
Finally Sardar caught it and decided to kill it cruelly,
He took it to the top of a building and dropped it
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boss asked Sardar
to buy two corner tickets for a movie
to watch with his Girlfriend.
Sardar bought two corner tickets:
A1…………….A25
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A sardar ji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.
He writes a love letter to the Nurse :-
I Love You sister….
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked: Why are you writing so slowly?
Sardar: Im writing to my 6 years old son,
he cant read very fast.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
“WIFE” & “MOTHER”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With “MOTHER”
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our “WIFE
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Sardar As A Director:
You Have To Jump In The Swimming Pool From 100.ft Height.
Hero: I Don’t Know Swimming
Sardar: Oye Don’t Worry Yaar! Pool Is Empty;-)
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Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!
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Sardar: ‘Doctor, my son swallowed a key.’
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 months ago.
Doctor: What were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key.
Doctor: So why have u come today?
Sardar: We ve lost the duplicate key !!!
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Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA
Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA
Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA
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Sardar in airoplane going to Bombay.
While its landing he shouted:
“Bombay ….Bombay”
Airhostess said: “B silent.”
Sardar: “Ok… Ombay… Ombay”
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Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What happen on 1869?
Sardar: I don’t know.
Teacher: Stupid its birthday of Gandhi G.
Now tell me what happen on 1873?
Sardar: Its 4th birthday of Gandhi G:-)
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In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name
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Sardar after interview
everything went fine till the time
he asked me for testimonials.
I guess i showed him the wrong thing !!!
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